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about

Warning: may be offensive to some critters.

lyrics

Critters are food.
They're found in nature, in the nude.
They can be fricasseed or stewed,
then either swallowed whole or chewed.
And maybe they were begging us for mercy when they mooed,
But the mooers were subdued
and subsequently used for food.

Critters are meat.
They're found in nature--which is neat!
They're little steaklings in the making;
for escaping, they've got feet.
And maybe they're communicatin' when they whinny, bark, and bleat,
But they taste so very sweet that every one got used as meat.

I know there's some who'll disagree
But your protein deficiency
Only means there's more for me...
There's more for me!

I know there's some who'll prob'ly say
'Let the happy creatures play'
Looks to me like a buffet
Like a buffet!

Critters are food.
They're found in nature, in the nude.
They can be fricasseed or stewed
then either swallowed whole or chewed.
And maybe they were begging us for mercy when they mooed,
but you can't live on kibble.
so it's incontrover-TIBLE
that critters
are food.

credits

from Professor Gum's Bug Juice Tonic, released January 11, 2013
Written, performed, and engineered by Monty Kane.

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Professor Gum Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Professor Gum is the song-writing alter ego of Montgomery Kane, a fingerstyle guitarist and dad from Pittsburgh, PA. His first collection of songs sets up shop in the territory somewhere in between 'Puff, The Magic Dragon' and 'Poisoning Pigeons In The Park.' ... more

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